Reflections on Motherhood

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers in our lives!

This is technically my second Mother's Day as I was pregnant with Natalie on Mother's Day last year. I absolutely thought of our little girl as a real, live baby and myself as a real, live mother from day one of my pregnancy, so I didn't feel weird opening the few cards and gifts that I received last year. I knew I was a mother then, but this year I have a much better grasp on what it means to hold the title "mother".

I'm not even going to try to pretend like I've got this motherhood thing figured out. Ha! Not even close. I'm brand new at this, and it probably shows. But I can say that I've learned more, changed more, and grown up more over the last six months as Natalie's mama than ever before in my life, so here it goes - reflections on motherhood from a new, inexperienced, but trying her darnedest mom.

1. A mother's love - it's fierce, it's big, it's powerful, it's all-consuming. Natalie has taught me how to truly, selflessly love. Natalie has taught me that love has nothing to do with receiving and everything to do with giving. I was so overwhelmed with the strength of my love for her when she was first born that I cried happy tears every day - sometimes more than once.
2. Motherhood is hard. Speaking of tears, I also cried not-so-happy tears quite often when Natalie was born. Being Natalie's mama is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done.
3. It's also the most wonderful. Motherhood comes with built-in automatic day-brighteners. There is something so special about hearing your own baby coo or giggle or seeing her smile or hurriedly crawl in to your arms. It's magic.    
4. Natalie introduced me to my mom. I have always had a close relationship with my mom and have called her my best friend for the last number of years, but I feel like I know her a million times better now that I'm a mom myself. I finally get it. I understand how much she loves me now because that's how much I love Natalie. I understand how well she knows me now because that's how well I know Natalie. She has known me to my core for the last 25 years, and I am just beginning to truly know her. I've got a lot of catching up to do, Mom.
5. Natalie introduced me to myself. Motherhood has changed me. My priorities, my interests, my focus - they're all different now. This is who I was always meant to be. Just as marrying Chris made me a better version of myself, becoming Natalie's mama made me a still better version.